THE POT BELLY BARD - SAMSON'S UGLY SISTER

Samson had a sister, her name i chose to forget

She had a big crush on me, and my lego jet;

Though it was one-way, and i was not gay

I let her go for the reason, she was just too God damn ugly.

Her breasts were sagging South

Her tummy bursting at the seams;

Thighs were the size of tree trunks

Her rump that of a well fed farm pig.

She smiled through her braces

Dirty shoes with grime and untied laces;

Her polka dot frock resembled warts on her face

Table manners were nasty and devoid of grace.

She waved her hand in unladylike glee

She jumped and strutted in manners that made buried moles flee;

Samson loved his sister too much and pampered her

It showed in her unkempt hair and dirty finger.

Alliances was called from lands far and near

No man dared to step forward, nor a Knight in shining armor;

The Bard was called and dictated, "A wife she is and a fine cook for you, good Sir"

"No thanks Mr Samson," said he,"She is just too God damn ugly".