TIP THE WAITER

Great food, Yes. Great music, Yes. Great ambience, Yes. Great service, Yes. Great waiters? Wait a minute.

What's that got to do with a food place? Isn't that the same as service?
The answer is yes and no. Yes, service includes the waiting staff and the guy who takes your orders and the guy who cleans up after you have burped, dropped tissues on the floor and let out a silent fart to make space for paan. Waiters are an entire new breed in themselves. Rarely are waiters born. It takes skill, talent, girt, determination and ladles of patience to become a waiter.
He is the fork and spoon between the manager, the cook and the guest. He gets a fork inserted into his bum from all three for no fault of his. Unruly customers, out-of-control kids, goofy manager and a lousy cook; his problems never end. He has to wear uniforms which don't exactly suit him or his style.
His problems at home may be many, from an obese wife who demands he steal the food and groceries to kids who remind him his mistake of buying cheap condoms. Yet, he sticks a smile on his face and shows up to work. Show me any chef, banker or stock market analyst who can remember the ever changing dishes, their ingredients,what customer at which table ate what. He trains himself in having a cybershot memory. That makes him really special. And to think most of them have never seen a school, let alone culinary showoffs college.He is not your average joe who brings you food. Remember, he doesn't get to eat the food served to you. If you leave something out, and it is palatable, he'll have it behind the doors. He understands the value of food.He is the reason why restaurants work and some burn out.
The best of these waiters are found in corner hotels, where you don't have a menu and the crowd is the ever complaining middle class.The best of the waiters and the worst of the customers are found in India.
So the next time you visit a hotel, 5 star or half star, remember to smile at the waiter. He doesn't know how the food's cooked, but he knows for sure that you are to go with a full stomach and a burp.
And my friend, coins or notes, leave behind a tip. That may be the only thing to remind him that someone cares.

A MYSOREAN'S SWAN SONG

Words cannot describe the pain and fear i have for leaving Mysore. Going to an unknown city is never a good feeling all together. But change is a part of life. And life is not constant.
I owe my life to many people. I am what i am today because of the lessons they taught me. I have got the chance to start life anew at a place that has always shocked me just by the sheer sight of it. Nonetheless, there's no better teacher than life.
I thank you teachers of St. Philomena's, Sadvidya, Rotary and Mahajana's. I thank the environs of Mysore university for the breath of fresh air that rejuvenated my soul. I thank the last benches in these institutions that shaped me and my thoughts. I thank the roads of Mysore that enabled me to learn and reincarnated the biker in me. I thank the corner shop kirana Marwadi who loaned the chocolates and the baker who sold the cakes. I thank the auto drivers whose passion rekindled the Kannadiga in me and i thank the hotel's masala dosa cook whose very existence i thank God for.
I thank the neighbour's who helped me when i failed in home cooking by their delicacies.I thank my family for ensuring i lived a King's life though i was a pauper for money. I thank my sweethearts for the intense love rushes they gave me and their boyfriend's whose gashes are on my heart forever.
I thank the traffic police whom i called mama, to the college mates whom i called machha and tamma.
I thank you beloved Mysore, for all those experiences, lessons and much more. Without them, life would not be the same. I am now about to call another city as my step mother, but you shall always be my agony aunt.
Goodbye Old & Royal Friend............

THE ANSWER TO THE LAPTOP QUEST

So, after trying to figure out which port connects to which wire, i decided to buy a laptop. This initiated one of the greatest lessons in street smartness which no MBA course will teach. This is an account of how i purchased one and the interesting facets of the laptop business. To ensure that even you could benefit from this, i will break a cardinal rule and use the names of the brands. Sadly, none of the brands are sponsoring me! Anyways, here goes.
My search began on the internet, which each site claiming their review was the best. Thankfully, in all the sites, Asus and Toshiba led the pack. When it came to India, it was Lenovo. Great. Now, it was time to actually choose the model from the site. I volunteered to answer a series of endless questions on the site, followed by trying to choose the model. End result: Le-Definitely No-vo.
I took the streets, with the first shop promising a discount. Plus, a long list of freebies and 1 year warranty. Next shop, same story, but with a twist. Lenovo is good, but the service people are not. Being the guy with sweaty Jog falls in my hands, i decided service was important. So, Dell it was. 70% of the shops refused to suggest Dell. Apparently, if you call the service people, and when they FINALLY show up, they take your laptop and give it late, in some cases, your grand kids receive it after you're long deleted from earth. Some sweet talk in a shop and the truth was revealed. Dealers get comparatively less commission from Dell. No money under the table, no laptop over the counter. And this nugget of information, laptop prices change by the day, faster than the stock market.
Sony was my next on my list. Sexy Kareena was more hot than the laptop. Incidently, i went to Reliance in Mall of Mysore and boy, the salesman had me convinced that the freebies offered by them are more important, to hell with the laptop. Good old KT street was just a maze of laptops, free opinions, even more freebies and one brand bitching over the other. This was worse than getting a lapdance from my 80+ math teacher.
I had almost given up hope, when, in the distance, I spotted a cheap lingerie shop where the model was pointing right. It was a Toshiba showroom. Finally, a hope from a sexy angel. The marwadi guy over there heard my plight and said something i'll NEVER EVER forget in my life. "Dell, Toshiba, Sony, Asus, hp...all parts MADE IN CHINA".
Bingo! that's it!