MYSORE AUDIENCE'S DRAMA

I took some time out to go to the "Sampada Parishe" at Kalamandir. Every time i go there to see a play or show, i return home refreshed, and with a sense of regret.
Reason: The behavior of the Mysore audience. Any Mozart can survive in any part of the world if he manages to please the audience of Mysore. The people here are A LOT choosy. For some reason, they arrive late, talk loudly, and then, leave abruptly. The constant opening of the door will of course irritate the performer or the artist, but you cannot question the Mysorean. "AATU, AATU" is the pat reply. More so irritating is the habit of munching snacks inside the hall. It is acceptable in DRC, but Kalamandir has a charm and a class of its own; it is a live performance going on. And the most irritating habit of clicking pictures with flash. Imagine the artist's eyes.....in a dark room....it's like memories of Ghajini.
And those comments! By God! Its like the average Mysorean is an avataar of Einstein, Beethoven, Tagore and Gandhi, all in one. He, and even some shes' are the pandits & gurus of every art there is. Their comment is more important to be heard in the audience, than the performer's dialogue. What makes it worse is the fact that these pundits bring their toddlers along, and their loud and music drowning wailing is a 5.1 dolby from hell in itself.
If you were a performer, the best in your field, and you train hard, to give the performance of a lifetime in a city supposed to be the cultural capital, you would be happy, right? But, not so in Mysore. It's best you start your performance with closed eyes and open them only after the performance is over. This way, you will not be discouraged by the mobile phone screens stuck to the ears, people walking off because you didn't impress them in the first 10 minutes and kids slapping their heads and cursing their parents for making them miss the latest episode of Big Boss.
Here's my advice to the audience of Mysore...Either be patient for the entire show, applaud, appreciate, and give a standing ovation at the end or even better, STAY AT HOME. It's better to perform to empty silent chairs than a hall full of noisy intellectuals.

AUTOMATICALLY AUTO 1 & HALF XTRA Part 2

During my brief stay in Namma Bengalooru, autos became my lifeline. Sure, the buses were always there. But i'm not exactly a public transport not public toilet sort of guy. The traffic jams were a real turn off, so i used the time to strike up interesting conversations with the autowallahs. On one such trip, i learnt about the current status of Banglore's underworld. Apparently, Tamils have become the Godfathers of the city. Me being one, i was dead scared when he told that he didn't like them very much. But thankfully, he said that he'll make an exemption in my case. Moreover, he said that Banglore is the only place where you can walk alone,in the dark or in the crowd, juggle a bundle a cash and still make it back intact. COOL!
My next experience was at 10 PM. I had to make it to the satellite bus stand from the old airport road. I reached in 20 mins flat! The less traffic did help, but i guess he (the auto) was from Charminar in Hyderabad. Apart from Vettel, only Charminar autowallah's are capable of taking pole positions at Buddh circuit and peak traffic.
When it comes to charging by the meter, and ensuring that you reach home safely at night, even though you are drunk, you can always trust a Muslim autofellow. This i can vouch for.
The autofellows get bugged up as much as any guy by the traffic jams. They care about the city and it's people.They are a living testament for the city's changing geography and attitude. They have seen their expenses sky rocket and earnings go down. There is severe competition within themselves and with the Indica cabs.
But there are two things you can always count they'll do. One is Kannada Rajyotsava. They care more about our state than the sad jokers that rule us. They do more for our language than the Kannada professors and the "always crying", linguistic morality groups. They drive the Kannada newspaper and magazine sales. Plus, they speak English, Hindi and just about any other language. The second is Shankar Nag. AutoShankar is THE MUST WATCH MOVIE for all of the auto brethren.  And yes, in any accident, the autowallah is the first guy to stop, help you and even carry you to hospital.
Yes, sometimes they do argue about change, talk rough and go round and round the city, just to keep the meter running and have you fooled. But, what you spend on buying the new Nokia Lumia  or Windows 8, the auto guy manages his brood of 4+ for a month. Try doing that with your IIM degree. Not possible is it?
Reality bites for the autowallahs, and it bites hard. Corrupt traffic cops, maintenance costs of the auto, bank loans and a nagging family back home, no one is born for it or trained for. Destiny thrusts it upon a few. From Charmniar to Lalbagh, from Chennai to Nagpur, their breed is unique, with even a few women joining the club. Next time, you step down from the auto, pay him and are about to walk away, just look him in the eye and say, "Thank You". Who knows, in the big and lonely city, you would have made his entire day by just those words.

Automatically Auto, 1 & HALF XTRA Part1

Not a big fan of buses? Car keys lost temporarily? Bike keys lost beneath the papers? What's the first thing that comes to your mind?
Yes amigo, it is the auto. The nation can deal with scams and natural disasters, but one day without  autos, and you know that the world is in Kaliyuga stage.
My school memories are associated with the auto. The best place was right next to the driver uncle. The worst place was in the back with the class teacher or even worse, with the thick glasses, oily pony tailed, plump girl having a crush on you! Ofcourse, less the number of kids, more the chances of stopping for an ice cream, sponsored by the auto uncle. Plus, the usual fights in the back and ofcourse, the F1 like races with the other autos, especially important to win if the geeks and the first rankers of the class were travelling in it. Can't beat them in studies? Can definitely do so by auto race. That was and will always will be NEED FOR SPEED, LKG and PRIMARY version.
Ofcourse, the meter was always a bone of contention. It always seemed to be running more faster than Hurricane Sandy. That automatically led to arguments, haggling and a final cry as to what the country has come to, whether or not you have come to your destination or not. Ofcourse, you hardly spent time thinking about the shortcuts the auto guy took to ensure you reached on time, or how safely he drove.
And then, theres' always the sight of them wearing their uniforms when they spot a cop or a signal. And boy, when they put on the music, you don't care if its Bose or JBL, your ears just explode. Add to that the local Kannda style and the lines which don't make sense, the moment you get down, you know that the next trip is to NIMHAANS. Auto's are characteristic to our country as is the re-elected Obama to America. Hell, we even go to the voting centres in an auto, even if it means paying 1 and a half extra on that day, or after 9 PM, though it is 7 PM in the automan's bible.
So, buckle up, and enjoy the....oh wait! there's no seat belt next to the 5 feet open door. SHEESH!